The Craziest Walk Home Ever!

a shot of the Forests with Ferocious Beasts

My homey Eric and I were feeling pretty brave and courageous after a filling and exciting meal from Katz’s Deli. Eric lives by a park called Morningside Park. During the day Eric routinely passes through the park without any thought of fear. But Eric had heard terrible rumors and tales of people that dared to travel through Morningside Park in the hours when the sun was no longer present.

With a drunken foolishness from our meal at Katz’s Eric said “Should we go through the park?” I also had heard of many horrible rumors of the Morningside Park at dark. Apparently there are ferocious lions that like to use young Jewish males as floss for their teeth. This posed a problem for both Eric and I as we are both Jewish and males. I also had heard wretched rumors of wild free roaming dogs that have teeth as big as a grown mans fist that roam the land of Morningside Park around nightfall. Yet something inside of me urged me on. Without further thought I said “Yes. Let us pass through Morningside Park”.

On the outskirts of Morningside Park

Both Eric and I were clearly heading into a land with much danger but we opted to venture forth as the alternative route (the one with the well lit streets) would have taken us an additional five minutes. As soon as we entered into the dark forests of Morningside Park Eric was attacked by a large bat with a wingspan of 14 feet. At this point in time I pulled out my massive sword and thrust it deep into the wild bats heart.

Both of us would have become fearful but before our emotions got the best of us a dragon that was 150 feet tall presented itself…

Both Eric and I were not sure of what to do as neither of us had ever before been in a battle with a 150 foot dragon.  I yelled out to the Dragon “Dragon! Let us pass”. The Dragon then mentioned some jargon in Chinese. Both Eric and I became utterly confused as our epic battle now consisted of 2 huge challenges: 1) the physical demands of beating a 150 foot dragon and 2) a massive language barrier as neither of us had any background in Chinese.

Me Hiding from the ferocious 150 foot dragon.

Both Eric and I thought our lives had come to an end. I dropped my bag and was ready to see the other side with dignity. Through an incredible twist of fate I dropped my subway map as the bag dropped to the ground. The Ferocious 150 foot dragon reached towards me. I closed my eyes ready to be taken in. Yet, he never grabbed me. When I opened my eyes the dragon was looking at the subway map.

After some extensive gestures between Eric, myself, and the dragon (as we couldn’t use English because this was a Chinese speaking dragon) we were able to pull out some key facts. Apparently, the dragon had taken the A subway uptown when he should have taken it downtown. The dragon had spent the last 24 years trying to find his way back to Chinatown. Eric used his super human ability of providing the best directions in the entire universe and soon we were left alone.

The rest of our trudge through Morningside Park was pretty mundane. We made it home to safety at Eric’s place.  

After I made it home safely I still felt nervous...